Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
