All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
