Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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