Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize