The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
