Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
