we have pet lesbian snakes
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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