Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
