I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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