So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
