found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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