here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
