I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Never underestimate the power of titties
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
