Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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