I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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