So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Green mimosas i think yes
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
