Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
