her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
