Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize