hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
