after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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