Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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