hell yes lets make some ravioli
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
