I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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