is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
