It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
