I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
