Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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