I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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