I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
