So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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