Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
This is my gift to your gina
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
