My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
