Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
