You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
