hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
