i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
