It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
