Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ketchup is God's man juice
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
