Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
His nipple licking is glorious
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