at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
