I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you never un-have a 4some
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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