ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
