I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
