took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
