I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
