I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
