As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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