okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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