She is in my trunk
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
