I can text with my tongue
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
