Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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