I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
God, I missed his penis.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
