Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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