I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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