This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
