some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I am naked and annoyed.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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