I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
