so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize