I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
