I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize