Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
