Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
